During a recent vacation in Yucatan, Mexico, I witnessed a dialog between a native Yucatecan store owner and a foreign customer. The owner asked where the tourist was from, and the reply came as “American but originally from Russia”. The local shook his head from side to side to express his disapproval. “You cannot be both. If you are born in Russia then you are Russian even if you have American papers” – “I am a citizen of the world” replied the russian-american tourist, but he didn’t manage to dislodge the look of disapproval from the Yucatecan native. This scene happened in Merida, the capital of the state of Yucatan, a place where people are very proud of their city and their cultural heritage. Stores sell native handicrafts and clothing to tourists but they are really careful not to sell their identity.
So what is Identity? This is a very relevant and personal for me, as I went through my naturalization interview this week and I am expected to go through the oath ceremony and become a US citizen in the next 3 months.
Based on the store owner’s definition my identity should be defined by the place I was born. So let’s start there: Reims, France. Only I have very few memories of this place because I moved to the eastern suburb of Paris when I was six years old. In the following 19 years I also lived in Bordeaux, Toulouse, Tours, Nantes, Cinderford (England), Rouen, Paris (western suburb), and Nantes again. Each of these cities has distinct cultural heritage, culinary and musical traditions, and a different accent. In fact I moved so much that my identity was to always be the newcomer, the one who used strange words and spoke with a weird accent. Each of these places became my home for a while, but did any of them imprint me with its identity? Do I have one or multiple identities? I am starting to feel schizophrenic… and so am I. But let’s assume that these regional differences are transcended by some kind of higher level French identity and culture. Let’s say that my upbringing is simply “French”.
Fast forward to January 2011. My eleventh year in California – about a third of my entire life, and two thirds of my adult life. As of right now, is my identity French, American, Californian, or something in between? Let’s put this to a few simple tests: language, education, pop culture, politics and values.
Language. French is my mother tongue so I obviously speak it fluently. Do I? After 10 years of speaking English at home and at work, I no longer speak the same language that French people speak right now. My sentences are not structured properly, I am missing vocabulary, and I use English words in the middle of French sentences. I can blame it on laziness and lack of practice with native speakers… but that’s not all. Language evolves. There are many new words and expressions that emerged in the last 10 years that I have no knowledge of. I speak the French language of 10 years ago and it keeps evolving without me. On the English side I am doomed as well: I am up to speed on the latest words and expressions but I don’t think my accent will ever totally disappear. Unlike many French natives I try hard to blend in but people still know that I was not born in the US.
Education. Definitely this is a win for the old continent. More than two thousand years of French and European history vs. 200 years of American history. Twenty years spent in the French National Education system. Now I am showing off, it must be my French identity… though both the French and the Americans are almost equally famous for their arrogance 🙂
Pop Culture. Tough one: you can quizz me on pop culture in France in the 80’s and 90’s… and in the US since the start of the new Millenium. But I really don’t know about the latest pop star in France, and I don’t know much about what was hot in the US in the 80’s (other than what filtered through TV, movies and music).
Sports Culture. This could be embarrassing. In France I didn’t care about soccer, and in the US I don’t care about Football or Baseball. So basically I am a lousy Frenchman and a lousy American! I must say that I did watch the Beijing Olympics and it was much more fun rooting for the US of A than for France. There are simply more medals!
Politics. I try to follow both French politics and American politics, and both can be quite frustrating. I felt ashamed when France recently enacted a crack-down on the Roma minority, and when Arizona passed the controversial law targeting Mexican minority. I cried tears of joy when President Obama was elected, and I definitely will exercise my voting rights as soon as I get them. As a French living abroad I can only vote for Presidential elections – which I intend to do.
Values. Tough one. “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.” Nothing to disagree about. “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. Only good things as well. On the surface all these values are great and there isn’t much difference but let’s dig a bit deeper. In France the quest for Equality leads to refusal of recognizing that everyone is different. Minorities do not have any official existence, everyone needs to be French. In the US the quest for Freedom is often used as an excuse to justify policies that reduce the role of government and favor the wealthy and the large corporations against the interests of the common people.
So what is my Identity? After laying down pages of thoughts on what makes me more French vs. what makes me more American, only one conclusion stands out: my identity is to be both, and to be neither. After my Oath ceremony in a few months I will officially be American. But here I will be allowed to become a French-American. Like legions of US immigrants before me, I will be an American while keeping part of my original identity. I will join the countless numbers of Italian-Americans, Irish-Americans, African-Americans, Mexican-Americans, Vietnamese-Americans, Chinese-Americans and all the other minorities in the US.
I am proud of a country that allows these differences to be expressed, acknowledged and respected. This is what makes America a great nation: it keeps renewing itself through diversity and immigration. Next time I travel and someone asks where I am from, I will be glad to answer in a James Bond 007 style: “American. French-American”.
Cedric, 1/23/2011
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